Blocked

SHIT! What was I going to write again? Ever been in those moments where you feel cut off fro your own essence? At first, literally moments ago, I felt warped in a cycle of repetition. Or insanity. I mean things were like clockwork, down to my daughter's morning sneeze. Something got to give. Somethings got to shake!

Often times, I find that the answers I am constantly searching for haven't fallen far from my mind-heart space when I begin to feel a little bit of fear, or anxiousness, or even annoyance. This is me just getting off of the focus of "trying" to change into the person I already know that I am on the inside, wanting others to see, hear, feel and even know me. But the thing is, Change is constant and everything in the universe is constantly moving. Even when it looks like it's not.

During meditation yesterday, I felt a whisper of infinite intelligence gently rub my shoulder once, and tell me that my third eye (awareness) often closes and opens lately. It's almost like a tv with a loose or corroding wire. It's not broken, and as a matter of a fact, a little update with make this baby almost brand new with a timeless feel. I'm not broken, I'm just blocked.

The only questions that remain in my mind from here are, who is blocking my ability to see further, when is this happening, why is this happening and what is truly happening for real? Before I could even type out the full sentence, my source tells me that it is me. Some unknown part of me. I shun her. I shame her... I ridicule her because I don't know her. Which sounds like two parts of me that exist that are fighting each other... One part of me that sees and dislikes, another part of me that is doing the unwanted behaviors and of course the all-seeing I, that is the whole of me... witnessing all of this and really wanting to help.

How can I help myself when I feel pinched off from self, all the while disliking my own behavior. What truly is the first step here? I feel that I'm already working, sending my circuits in the right direction. Surely I have surpassed the first step, but somewhere in me, I forget. I put myself back in the world. I leave my world to peer into the world of another. Is this a good or bad thing? No. There is no such thing in a life of evolution. Choice exists and I know for a fact I can decide. Going forward, I believe that it will best serve me to find a way to remember my new self.. weird statement but work with me here. Either I can take an approach from using who I want to become as inspiration and focus and become that change, or I can powerfully and beautifully trump that and finally accept and focus all particles and atoms withing me to KNOW that I am my new self! That's why the lights flash on the dash of a brand new car just the same, letting you know that its time for an oil change or to increase the tire pressure.

What will it take to wake up and accept that I am ME, that is the me that I have been working all my life to become, and that I will never stop wanting to improve in some form or fashion? That now only can I do this but I AM! Not that I cannot see, but that its okay to look somewhere else, or at something else. It's all good for me now, and I am proud of the ME I have become... after all, I set forth this maze of life that I am sure in and creator of.

So Release yourself, truth. You're not blocked, you're just you, nothing more to see unless you see yourself with approving eyes. That is the wild secret, that's the wild truth.

-Love Truth

***To every eye that places their view upon this thread, I give a piece of my peace, and love from my highest heart.***

---