Truth, Can't We Just Be Friends?

"Today I am regretting my decision to not stay friends with him, I think it would have softened the blow and I would have found things easier to cope with..."

To stay buds or call it a dud?

Truth to the rescue!

No but for real, in all actuality, whats so wrong with trusting the decision that you've already made? Knowing the full picture of the break up and relationship dynamic would give helpful clues to what the issue is, or was, back then in the relationship. Usually when someone exits a relationship, be it romantic or casual, nine times out of ten a persons leaves to be happier. It almost doesn't matter whats on the other side, people do not leave where they are happy, supported, and encouraged to be their true self. Most often people hide and shield who they desire to be and let die inside what they have always wanted, casting their hopes off as a mere dream.

So we can conclude that you may just have made the right decision to move on. But is staying in contact with the item or person or situation the you have moved away from the best way one can support their own decision they have made to shift their life?

I'd say lets play the same situation out in another scenario. Let's say there is a child that has a tendency to hang with a group of friends that like to steal from the mall each weekend they go to hang out. Ya know kid things. But anyway, your child is also a member of this particular social group and has been caught stealing. As your child's punishment, you decide to change your child's social circle as a consequence as well as to help curb and navigate the child's future behavior and temptations to act and behave like the prior group. Would you then allow your child to hang out just a few more times with the group of children that steal from the mall just to soften the blow of changing her social circle abruptly?

What would you do?

If you do choose to allow your child remain around individuals that you believe may be a hindrance to their overarching goal of being an architect or veterinarian or whatever it is. Does that child plan to become a criminal? If so I'd say you're both on the path to being a great guide to bringing to life the criminal lifestyle your child desires and there is nothing wrong with that. But if that is not the childs overarching goal then id say find the lesson in the behavior and drive that the child has to steal and thrive around other individuals that desire the same. What are they lacking and how are they being misunderstood?

The purpose of that scenario was to expose the fact that a person cannot move on without truly exposing the need for the connection or experience brought on in the first place. Then one can go on to execute a plan to replace the toxic or hindered actions toward the right activities, hobbies, actions and support system that perpetuated the desired overall arching goal.

Similar to rehab for a drug addict, we too can become addicted to peoples energies and the way we allow them to fill in gaps and holes of feelings of accomplishment and life lessons from the soul level. When that person or drug or stimulant of energy is no longer present, we feel the hole and unattainable feeling that was already present prior to the union or experience or drug.

These are the moments when a self love routine is most needed. Its time to then get in tune with what you want need and desire for your life to have and to become and to fill your time mind, energy and space with everything that serves that over arching goal.

So could you just be friends with that ex, just to soften the blow of the breakup? Sure you can, but don't forget to ask, is it in line with your path of who you are working to become? Is that friendship and energy worth more than working on yourself when you need it most? what do you really deserve? And is it conducive to your overarching goal of being your wild and true self?

When in doubt... be more honest.

-Love Truth